The Silent Crisis Of Men's Mental Wellbeing
I want to talk about something we rarely speak about, yet it affects every family, every workplace, and every community, and that is … the silent crisis of men’s mental wellbeing. This is not just a personal story - it’s a family story, a workplace story, and ultimately, a human story.
When I walked into work every day, I looked the part of a confident professional. I smiled, shook hands, led discussions, and continued to render a service in my capacity as a Human Resources Manager. To the outside world, I had it all together. But the truth? Inside, I was crumbling. For months on end, I carried crippling anxiety, stress and possibly bouts of depression, that left me spiralling into dark and frightening thoughts of giving-up and simply throwing in the towel. Thoughts I couldn’t dare share with anyone. And yet, no one knew. Because and like most men, I had mastered the art of silence. Most men never walk into Human Resources and say, “I’m struggling.” The truth is, many don’t know how—or worse, they’re terrified of being judged, seen as weak, or treated differently. This is how a crisis stays invisible. Hence, the silent crisis.
Like so many men, I grew up in a culture that rewarded toughness and frowned upon vulnerability. From a young age, we are told: “Boys don’t cry.” and “Be a man.” or “Don’t show weakness.” We inherit a script about masculinity that tells us our value comes from being strong, stoic, and self-reliant. We’re taught that emotions are dangerous, that admitting we’re not okay is failure.
And when you carry that conditioning into the workplace, it gets even worse. This is more prevalent in hard-core industries like construction, mining, mineral processing, materials handling, manufacturing and engineering, where men are expected to perform at all cost. You don’t crack. You don’t slow down. You don’t burn-out. You keep delivering, no matter what’s going on inside. The unspoken rule is simple: don’t show cracks, don’t admit struggle, and never - ever - let them see you break.
But here’s the problem: what we suppress doesn’t disappear – it destroys us from within. It builds up. It festers. It eats us alive from the inside out. That’s why today, men are facing what’s called the silent crisis of men’s mental wellbeing. I don’t just know this as a professional who spent than 35 years in Human Resources. I know it as a family man, a partner and work colleague, who has physically lived the experience.
I experienced burn-out on three separate occasions over the past two decades and had to deal with numerous life threats. I lost a marriage of close to two decades. I spent months on end gripped by anxiety, stress and sleepless nights, so strong, it made breathing feel like a chore. And still, I said nothing. Why? Because I thought my responsibility - as a man, as a father, as a partner, as a Human Resources leader - was to be the rock, the provider, the carer and continuous giver of unconditional support. Simply put - to hold it all together for everyone else.
But here’s the thing: when a rock cracks in silence, it doesn’t just break itself. It breaks everything it supports. This isn’t just about personal suffering - it’s a crisis with devastating consequences. Men disengage, families break down, and organizations lose, directly or indirectly, their greatest asset - their people. This is what’s known as either workplace disengagement or even worse quiet quitting - doing just enough to get by, to ensure being paid a salary at the end of the month. No extra effort. No initiative. Just survival. The employee continues to experience all the hurt, pain, anxiety, stress, despair, and in short, mental wellbeing challenges and then, let’s not forget, the consequential impact on the organisation’s bottom line. The nett effect a, “loss-loss scenario. “A silent workforce is not a strong workforce!”
Globally, suicide rates continue to rise. Three out of four people who die by suicide are men. Every year, we lose our sons, our fathers, our brothers, our colleagues. Not because they were weak, but because they were silent. Think about that: 75% of lives lost—not to weakness, but to silence. And the tragedy doesn’t stop at the individual. It ripples outward—to families, to children, to teams, to organisations. In the workplace, this silent suffering looks like absenteeism, presenteeism, burnout and disengagement. Men physically show up, but their minds and hearts don’t. This is workplace disengagement or quiet quitting – and it impacts productivity, safety, and culture. As leaders, we must ask: What is the cost of doing nothing?
According to the World Health Organization, untreated mental health issues cost the global economy over $1 trillion every single year in lost productivity. That’s not just a financial figure—it’s a measure of untapped potential, broken families, and lost futures. And yet, most organisations don’t know how to respond. Why? Because “Leadership doesn’t know what it doesn’t know.” When men stay silent, leaders don’t see the problem. And when leaders don’t see the problem, they don’t act and similarly, they don’t have a definitive and concrete knowledge of the associated risk to the bottom line. And so, the cycle continues!
But here’s the lesson I learned, painfully and slowly … silence is not strength. Vulnerability is not weakness. Vulnerability is courage. True strength is not how much you can carry alone, but the courage to ask for help, to speak up, to do something about it and to heal. I love this quote by Brené Brown, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.”
In both my personal and profession life, I reached rock bottom multiple times. I experienced burn-out three times, received numerous death threats, simply by carrying out my duties and it is with embarrassment and a heavy heart, that I have only now come to the realisation that my dedication to my profession, the organisation, came at a huge cost to not only my mental wellbeing, but to that of my family too. Personally, I too experienced the heart-wrenching eventuality of divorce. Simply put, I lost myself and my true essence. It was only when I decided to reach out, when I finally said “I am not okay” - that I took my first step to healing, and my crisis was no longer silent. The first time I admitted I wasn’t okay, I felt like I was betraying everything I had been taught about being a man. But the opposite was true. That moment was the bravest thing I had ever done. It was officially the start to my journey towards healing, and to finding my authentic true self once more. And here’s what I’ve come to believe: We don’t have to be silent to be strong.
This is the very reason why we created InnaSerenity - to guide, to support and to equip people to overcome life, workplace and relationship challenges.
It's okay to struggle and it's also okay to ask for help.
Click here to read our follow-up blog, "How Do We Change The Silent Crises Of Men's Mental Wellbeing".
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As humans, we are truly blessed to have the gifts of choice and decision making. We don't have to simply accept living with all the hurt, pain and despair present in our lives, relationships and workplaces. The decision is yours, and yours alone. Living a life and having a relationship filled with happiness, joy and fulfilment, is ultimately a choice and best of all, it's YOUR CHOICE!
Life is far too short!
So why wait?